Day 51: The Little Things

It's day 51! It's Monday, the start of a new week, and I have a story to share with you all!

First, some updates. I am back at the cafe and I am pleasantly surprised at how easy it has been to start there again after so many years. It's been humbling, for sure. To go from the bottom to the top, and now back at the bottom again. I'm still struggling with the stress and grief of it all, but I am looking forward to lessons learned and whatever blessings are in store for me.

Here's what I wanted to share with you all today.

As my boys get older, I start to feel a little less needed and appreciated. All parents go through this. I'm feeling this very particularly with my oldest, Andy, who is 6 years old but may as well be 16 based on his behavior lately. The attitude... this boy can throw some shade. Y'all just don't know. I've been so frustrated over the last few weeks with life and with parenting.

Yesterday, though, Anthony woke up looking and feeling very puny. He kept complaining of a stomach ache, so I gave him some Pepto, and fed him a light and easy diet for most of the day. Jello, toast, water and some Gatorade just in case. He ended up crawling into Daddy's lap around 11:00 and taking a nap... which is VERY unusual for him. When he naps that early, or at all really, you KNOW something is wrong with him.

Daddy woke up about 1 hour later and called me into the room.

"Is he okay?" he asked with concern. "He feels really hot!"

I took his temp and sure enough... 101. So I began the Tylenol/Motrin rotation and had him rest on the couch. He fell asleep and woke up a few hours later with a temp of 103!

I was obviously extremely concerned. I put him into a cool bath and gave him a Popsicle. He still complained of stomach cramps, and had a bit of a runny nose. Other than that, he had no obvious signs of illness other than the fever. I decided that if his fever did not start to go down within the hour, I would take him to the Urgent Care center.

He fell asleep again and woke just about bedtime. I had checked him somewhere between there and his temp was going down, slowly but surely. When he woke up, I checked again and we were at a much safer 99. I asked how he was feeling. He said

"Oh, much better Mommy. Just sleepy."

I replied "Good! I sure don't like it when my boys don't feel good. I'm glad you are feeling better."

And this sweet boy said to me "It's all thanks to you, Mommy. You take the best care of me."

Guys. In that moment, I didn't have a single care in the world. To hear those words come out of my child's mouth, unprompted... it's a validation that my soul needed for some time now.

A lot of times I catch myself in so much doubt, especially with the way things have been going for the past few weeks. I doubt my worth as a mom and a wife. I start to feel like everything is falling apart, and it's all my fault.

In that moment my child turned all negative vibes positive. In that moment, he spoke to my soul. In those few little words I heard "Mommy, you are doing your best, and I am so thankful for it."

It's the little things, I find, that soothe the soul. With those few words, he completely changed my outlook and perspective of these present moments. With those words he reminded me that I can only take things as they come, and work hard for what I love and care about, and that even in my imperfections, my effort is perfect. He reminded me how important love is.

I hope that this week you can focus on moment to moment, and remember to slow down and appreciate the little things, and to wait for those small but infinite blessings waiting for you there.

Positive Vibes,

Stacy (WW)